A Beauitful Mind...

So I was watching one of my all time favorite actor Russell Crow in A Beautiful Mind. If you haven't seen it, SEE IT!!! But no really its about a math genius who has schzophnia (spl.?), he makes amazing discovers and inventions for a secret government agencies and have friends with people that never existed. Its so beautiful how the best quality about him was his one flaw! And to top it off it was strongly based on a true story!
So with that said...
I was sitting one day reminiscing on people that I have meet and have made their own little imprint on my life...good or bad. And I realized that there are several that kind of came out of the blue and went right back in to it... And just my luck that certain person none of my friends know bc before I could even mention this person their gone with the wind. Most of these people their faces are permanently in my mind but yet I can't remember their names...
If I told my mom these she would say their angeles and maybe even demons, like a Consantaine type of thing. But I wonder what if we all have a little crazy in us...what if that imaginary friend that you had on the play ground never left? What if they evolved with you changing their form to fit your need at that point of your life? That friend that would always play tea and cheerios with you...that lover who made love make so much sense...or that elderly women who would allows know what to say when you were having a awful day at work...
Where do these people go, better yet where do they come from....

See you later, see you soon
p a y n eH.
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Team Hayes

I won...really its over...I can't believe it!!! God it feels so good.... You can already see how much weight that was on our relationship has been completely lifted!!! Its so much more breezy now...like it use too.
Life just might be ok, ya'll...

See you later, see you soon
p a y n eH.
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Corona Lime

Ok so the past couple days have been amazing and peaceful... I'm hoping it not the calm before the storm...anywho me and Alud have been oddly all together and peacful too...now that she is out of the pic surprisingly...its almost like I trust him so much more in just a couple days!!! I believe that now that blocker is out the way there is no ending us...
I'm his Corona Lime and his my Main Squeeze! Lol. Awww corning love!

See you later, see you soon
p a y n eH.
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Chapter 1.5

I'm good today...Like scary good, no scary great. Dhiro and I did some overdue "purging"...it felt surprisingly beautiful and peaceful...It's dusk , my favorite time of day bc it as close as i can get to a sunset on Venice beach...

I have so many beautiful people in my life...these people give my world so much peace and joy. Its seems the more I mature the more I cherish these people and the more I miss the ones that didn't make the cut. I have a beautiful life, bills and all!!! lol. But its all an experience...one day I'll be on my patio looking over the Mediterranean sea from my beach house holding my grandbaby in my lap, watch my child and their spouse walk up and down the beach, while holding Alud hand...saying life is beautiful...still.

See you later, See you soon

p a y n eH.

Day By Day

Have you ever been excepted and understand? Talk with some who just got you? Isn't it a beautiful feeling? I think the reason why us humans want to be understood so bad bc its a justification that your NOT CRAZY!!! Ok maybe a lil but that person gets that bc they get you! I love finding that feeling...I get it more and more day by day...

Oh oh another amazing feel is not worrying about other peoples actions against you, bc it has nothing to do with you but reflection of their character....

See you later, see you soon!
p a y n eH.
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Hard work and no play....MAKES A STORE MANAGER!

So on a more positive note...I LOVE MY JOB AT BR! Its fun its exciting! I adore everything about it! I've been hustling my ass off!!! I want a second job but I get amazing hours at BR and I don't want anything distracting me from my goals....or rather my goal to become a store manager in 3-4YRS!!! My bosses love me, my co workers hate on me and I LOVE IT, bc that means I'm doing things right!!! Its so funny bc when I go to work and I get questions about why I get so many hours and why do I get first pick on where I want to be on the floor for the day even though I'm a "newbie"!!! And I'm say in my head is "A www...look lil haters. Aren't they cute!" Lol.
Anyway let me stop rambling on about my fabulousness! Lol

See you later, see you soon!
p a y n eH.
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A Bed To OurSelf...

Once upon a time you loved me. Once upon a time you crave me and dreamed of my every move. Once upon a time you would make love to my soul and not just my body. Once upon a time you we were BFF and even acted as each other diaries, telling each other our every secret and desire. Once upon a time my opinion matter and was valued, and my every love gesture received and praised.
That was once upon a time....

But one day ya'll forget the touch of my skin after sex. One day I won't be there to kiss down my own comet trail. One day the funniest thing will happy and I won't be there for you to tell the story to. One day you won't wake up to my singing while I do my morning rituals. One day your crave my pesto pasta only to come home to hot pockets and ramon noodles. One day you'll miss how my neon green nails would light up on your chest at night. One day ya'll become a assistant manager and won't have anyone to celebrate with. One day...yes one day you'll wake to a bed all to yourself.

See you later, see you soon
p a y n eH.
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Me

Me
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