OK...so that last blog wasn't exactly all I wanted to say. What I really wanted to say is that I'm fat, 235 to be exact. Why you ask have I allowed myself to get this heavy...well...when you eat refined beans with greasy taco shells, potatoes, rice, tofu, cheese, cheese and more cheese for two years that tends to happen. Now you ask me why didn't you lose the weight as soon as you gained it...again well...I was blessed with a husband that loved when I started to gain weight and even now, why because even though I'm 230 lbs. my figure is 36E-34-52...my butt and boobs are almost 3x bigger then when i first meet him. And I hate it!!! I hate the fact that I can cook "my specialties" bc he won't eat them, or that i can't fit in to my cute skimpy clothes. Oh better yet NO ONE NOTICES ME ANY MORE. When I use to walk into a room all eyes were constantly on my 34c-25-43 figure, my bronze brown skin, with a face that could make any hair style look good. But now I'm that "cute chunky" girl and I hate this most of all. But Alud likes it...
Alud also likes his job that causes me to work a job I hate to make sure the bills are paid. He likes going on business trips where he doesn't answer his phone on when I call.
You know he use to worship me... not like my body not even love but WORSHIP!!! Now sometimes I wonder if it ever crosses his mind that he could do without his 225lbs wife.
FYI: there are many signs of denial in this piece...Find more then one and you will understand my title.
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