so i'm watching We "The Secret Lives Of Women" and the topic is Child Bride...it got me think about my life. i mean i got married at 18yrs old...but wasn't i a child bride? I had graduated high school only 14 days before i got married, but had lived on my own off and on for about a year mostly with Alud. i feel myself shutting down sometimes because i'm trying to grow up to be as mature as a mid 20 to 30 yr old. i'm isolating myself from my family and even some of my friends. alot of people in my inner circle don't know what is going on...two eviction notices, pass due bills, my car reposed, my credit is shoot, i am disgusted with my job....and the list goes on. i just keep telling myself "You have to do this Champayne! You have to do this you can't go home" "You did this to yourself so deal with it!" "I got to fix it!!! I got fix it MYSELF!"....if you notice there is no prayer to God or my savior Jesus. why I don't know I haven't found the reason yet. I was raised on prayer and finding the answers in God, yet i feel like i MUST do this myself. i must prove to Alud, my family, friends,myself...hell God that i can do this. i can live on my own, i can make my marriage work, i can go start then finish college...I CAN YA'LL! i can...my life will be better...a least that is what i keep telling myself...
so those of you that wonder what the hell is wrong with that girl?!?! I ask you to be just be patient with me... i can do this...
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